Life After Sexual Violence
ON THE BLOG WRITTEN BY LAUREN HORLICK
Unfortunately, we live in a society where sexual violence is tragically common. Sexual violence is sexual activity without obtained or freely given consent. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Over half of women and almost one in three men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes." You read that correctly, over half! For the half that have lived through sexual violence, there may be several ongoing physical health and mental health impacts. If you have experienced sexual violence, I want to firstly start by saying that you are not alone and what you may be experiencing (both physically and mentally) are normal reactions to trauma. It can be challenging even to verbalize that you were sexually assaulted. It can sometimes appear easier to keep sexual violence a secret or downplay your experience. However, when you remain silent, you deny yourself potential help and support. Here are some ways to navigate recovery from sexual violence:
Establish Support- We can not feel supported in isolation. Identify someone in your life who can be empathetic, calm, and supportive. If there is not anyone in your life you trust, reaching out to a therapist or rape crisis hotline is a way to establish support. Support groups can be another valuable way to develop support and lessen feelings of being alone.
Develop healthy ways to cope with feelings- There are a variety of emotions and feelings that emerge following sexual violence. Because sexual violence is unexpected, we are likely to lean into unhelpful coping strategies. The CDC has identified that "sexual violence survivors are more likely to smoke, abuse alcohol, use drugs, and engage in risky sexual activity." You are not to blame for the sexual violence that you experienced. There may be a variety of unhelpful thought patterns surrounding shame, blame, and guilt that emerge following sexual violence. Please seek the support of a therapist as you work on challenging these unhelpful thought processes and developing healthy ways to cope with emotions.
Prepare for flashbacks or upsetting memories- Flashbacks, intrusive memories, and nightmares are very common to experience following sexual violence, especially in the first few months. Try to prepare for and anticipate triggers. Common triggers may include people or places, anniversary dates, and certain sounds, smells, or sights. Being aware of our triggers allows us to understand better what is causing activation levels to rise and helps us access steps toward calming. When experiencing flashbacks, attempt to return to the present moment while reassuring yourself that this flashback is not the present reality. We encourage you to seek the support of a counselor trained in a trauma modality such as EMDR or Flash technique to help further reduce impacts from memories and flashbacks.
Reconnect to yourself & others- It is common for individuals who have experienced sexual violence to numb down feelings and limit their capacity for joy, which leads us to feel disconnected from ourselves and others. Unhelpful ways that you may be avoiding or numbing can include feeling separate from yourself, difficulty concentrating, escaping, feeling detached from others, feeling physically shut down, or implementing unhelpful coping skills (stimulants, risky activities, etc.). It can be difficult to reconnect with our physical body following sexual violence. Some ways to regain connection with ourselves may be through mindfulness meditation, massage, rhythmic movement, or yoga. Some ways to restore connection with others may be through participating in social activities, making new friends, or reaching out to old friends. Support from other people is vital in one's recovery from sexual violence. Remember that support from others does not mean having to dwell on what happened or continually talk about it. Engaging in fun things and laughing with others can be just as healing.
Nurture yourself- Healing is an ongoing process that does not happen overnight. Physically care for yourself by eating right, sleeping, and exercising regularly. These care steps are always necessary and are even more critical when we are healing from trauma. Limit and avoid alcohol and drugs. Symptoms of trauma are exacerbated by substance use, and substance use can contribute to ongoing problems with employment, home life, and relationships.
Navigating the aftermath of sexual violence is a personal journey, but that does not mean that you have to do it alone. With these tips and through working with a therapist, you can regain acceptance and a sense of trust and safety while learning to heal and move forward in your life.
Need help or know someone who needs help?
Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to connect with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
Related Sources & Additional Readings
https://www.cdc.gov/sexual-violence/about/index.html