Holidays and Food
NAVIGATING THE HOLIDAYS WHEN YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD
On The Blog Written by Lauren Horlick
For many people, the holidays are a joyous occasion filled with traditions, loved ones, and food! While this one perspective of the holidays has become the norm in our society, there are significant number of individuals who have a vastly different experience. For many individuals battling an eating disorder, a negative body image, or for those who have an unhealthy relationship with food, the holidays are filled with anxiety, distress, and fear. If you or a loved one identifies as someone with any of the above challenges, you still have time to create a plan that helps you manage some of the anxiety and distress that might get in the way of you enjoying the holidays. Having a plan can give you structure and tools to navigate unexpected challenges that may arise. If in the past you’ve had difficulty on holidays due to disordered thoughts, urges, or triggering relatives, the following suggestions are tools you can use to help you navigate them this year.
Eat regular balanced meals and snacks- Some people may try to skip meals to “allow” themselves to eat more during holiday meals or to eat foods they usually restrict. This is not a realistic plan; these types of eating patterns only make food more chaotic and stressful. Skipping meals will most likely negatively impact your mood and behaviors. Not skipping meals or snacks is the best way to stay on track to minimize any disordered thoughts, urges, or behaviors. Most holidays are filled with an abundance of traditions and activities, it is important to reflect on the schedule for the day and plan out your meals and snacks accordingly to make sure you are getting enough nutrients to keep you sustained throughout the day.
Identify coping skills- Reviewing and practicing effective coping skills ahead of the holidays is a necessary step when creating a plan. You most likely will have disordered thoughts or urges throughout the holidays, and it will be important to know what skills to utilize in order to manage them. Saving a list of coping skills in your phone or creating a notecard to keep in your pocket will be an easily accessible reminder of skills you can engage in; in the event you feel triggered or flooded with high levels of stress. Typically, during those moments, it is really difficult to think logically to engage in coping skills, therefore, having a list on hand is an easy way to remember what coping strategies you can engage in to ground yourself. Some helpful coping skills to utilize may include deep breathing techniques, five minutes of alone time, listening to music, processing how you feel with someone you trust, checking the facts, reviewing affirmations, grounding through the five senses, or journaling down thoughts/feelings.
Setting boundaries- If you haven’t had time to practice, this is your cue to work on enhancing this skill with your therapist because you will most likely need it during the holidays. Sometimes people don’t say the right things because they aren’t aware of what is triggering you. You cannot control the behaviors of others; however, you can control how you respond to them. It isn’t realistic to expect the people around you to know what topics of conversation are off limits if they aren’t informed of them. Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable at first and with practice it will become easier. Your boundaries and needs are important and deserve to be respected.
Focus on the values that matter- Keep food in context and in its proper place in order to reclaim your power over it. At the end of the day, food is just food, and there is nothing it can do to rob you of things that matter most, like relationships, values, and people. When your values and relationships are a focal point of the holidays (rather than food), this can help keep you grounded during an otherwise stressful time.
Plan to decompress- You just navigated a really stressful and exhausting experience. It is important to plan how you will decompress after. Whether that’s watching a movie, playing games with loved ones, scheduling alone time, or maybe a nap. Having a plan to decompress will help you focus on the task at hand instead of having unstructured time after meals, which is a vulnerable period where disordered thoughts and urges are likely to increase. If you don’t feel comfortable being alone in your thoughts while you decompress, recruit a loved one or a friend to engage in that activity with you. This will help you stay in the here-and-now, creating memories with the people you care about, instead of being stuck in an anxious thought cycle about the food you ate or were exposed to.
Final takeaways- Keep in mind that you aren’t a perfect human and won’t get it completely right every time. During these moments, remember to have some self- compassion. You may have stressful moments, and these moments are exactly what they are, small periods in time. You are capable of overcoming these stressful moments by re-grounding yourself back to the here and now and realigning yourself with the goals you set. You are more powerful than your unhealthy relationship with food and you deserve to enjoy the holidays!